If you are from bnf_brawl, please defriend this LJ, it's going to be used in another game. Cheers!

My apologies for not pronouncing the winner of Brawlpachi sooner; I forgot it existed.

The victor is:
divine_otaku, for her skill in creating a memorable silhouette and interesting character design. It was truly something original.

I admit, it was a tough challenge, but you persevered honourably. It is now your right to choose the next BRaWLDOS challenge.

Your ancestors weep with pride this day, Kona-sama. Raise your head in victory, and accept your trophy proudly atop the bridge of your nose.



Well done.


Elizabeth and I have been absent of late due to some exciting news - her birth father has contacted her through MySamuraiSpace.com, and they have arranged an off-meet. We are currently en route, in the company of the Yorozuya, who are obnoxious travel companions, but neccessary, as Gintoki possesses the legitimate papers required to obtain a rental car.

My heart weeps with joy that my Elizabeth has a chance to reconnect with her long-lost father. However, my bladder weeps with too many Diet Dr. Peppers.

I hope we reach a rest stop soon.

I would like to extend my most sincere gratitude to everyone who attended the wedding, and brought the happy couple so many nice gifts. The Joui appreciate your donations to the cause [especially the Smoothie Machine].

Mrs. Elizabeth Mustang has been scrapbooking the wedding photographs during her honeymoon. She has sent me one, however, to frame and hang at home. I thought those who missed the wedding would enjoy seeing such a moment of pure, unfettered love. It is a snapshot of the bride and groom's first kiss as man and wife.

( A touching portrait of true love. )

Ah, they look so happy! They are no doubt enjoying themselves on their honeymoon. I hope Mrs. Elizabeth Mustang's sunburn has cleared up.

Thank you again, everyone.

Ah, it appears that Elizabeth and I have been entrusted to create the next BRaWLDOS challenge. I am uncertain as to why, and can only assume the honour has been given to us as a bribe to get free cookies at the Annual Joui Bake Sale for the Funding of a Better Japan Through Legitimate and Surely Non-Deceptive Means and Explosions.

BRaWLDOS, you go too far. A samurai is not such a shameless creature as to accept bribes, like some hack ninja or Pokemon trainer. You will pay for your sprinkle-pink sugar cookies like everyone else. Which are a steal at 420 yen! 420 yen! Get them while they are fresh out of the oven! Save Japan while catering to your pathetic weakness for sweets!

That being said, I present to Brawl at large the next BRaWLDOS challenge.

PLEASE MAKE THIS
NOT BORING.


This is Glasses Shintaro. Some of you may be familiar with him, if you can remember who he is for extended periods of time, or are near-sighted and need him to correct your poor vision. As you can see, his character design lacks something we in the unfortunate business of Anime like to call, "character." He also lacks "design." He is so bland that he is blurring into the background of charming techni-colour Elizabeths [♥ Elizabethzuuu!].

I will remove the Elizabeths so you may notice him. I have drawn arrows to key points which need to be corrected.



It is up to you, Brawlers, to make Shinglasses-san a character worthy of Paatama Katsutama Nekotama being a character. You may ask, "Katsura-san, how do I do such a thing? This task seems insurmountable, and kind of a waste of time. I could be playing Mario Tennis instead, or strapping bombs to the fenders of corrupt Government officials." And I will reply with, "It truly will not take much, anything would be an improvement on the original. Can I borrow your Mario Tennis cartridge? Mine got blown up by the police."

Ways in which you can improve on Glassestaro-san's character are;
一 Adding/removing elements from this picture, using CGI laser-light show technology or MS Paint. Bring him into focus! Ganbatte!
二 Writing a character history/origins story that people will actually remember [his current one is... ah... oh].
三 Writing fanfiction which stars the New and Improved Taroglasses-san displaying his New and Improved character/powers/adorable animal companion. [Please keep in mind that all entries containing yaoi will be disqualified for very poor taste, and sent to the corner.]
四 Drawing a completely new Pachinearsighted-san from scratch. This may be the easiest option.
五 Photoshopping any picture of the current Blahpachi-san into something acceptable and not megane.
六 Putting together an elaborate kabuki production to illustrate how he is doing it wrong, and how, in the future, he may do it right, or fall in love with his sister's fiancee's rugby coach's daughter.
七 Koba cream puff 570 yen.
八 Chocolate hat 300 yen.
九 Shu mai pan 600 yen.
十 Come one, come all to the Annual Joui Bake Sale for the Funding of a Better Japan Through Legitimate and Surely Non-Deceptive Means and Explosions.

Entries due by September 19th. The winner of Brawlpachi will be awarded the satisfaction of knowing that they are better than Sorachi-san at creating likable characters, two sheets of scratch'n'sniff stickers, and the chance to pick the next challenge.

Go, fight, buy pastries!

Ah... hello, school. I hope everyone is having a good semester so far. I am. My detention count is only 32 36 40 41 43 44.

I urge the new students to join the kendo club. It is held wherever detention is held that day. I am the president, Katsura Kotarou, third year. Additionally, welcome to the school, I hope the ineffective and oppressive system Dictator Rahm-san is running like a sweat-shop does not crush the life out of your souls.

Shinpachi-kun, I have completed defining the borders of our shared room.




I also have things to say to teachers.

Elizabeth-sensei, thank you for the fruit baskets and homemade gifts. And thank you for serving me lunch during Calculus today. It was delicious, and a nice break from my nap. You are very kind.

Flowright-sensei, I made flashcards for ESL as you suggested. Are these okay?
( My flashcards. )

I think I will learn to read and write English very soon. Thank you for taking me out of that hack-pedophile Charming-sensei's class. Ah, I was worried I would catch his erectile dysfunction.


Ginpachi-sensei, I finished preparing your syllabus.

I need to make a very difficult decision.

If everyone would kindly vote in this poll, the process of choosing will be much easier.

( Poll. )

Thank you.

Who: Katsura [itsnotzura] & Gintoki [cakefesta].
When: After this post and this post.
Where: Edo, Japan [Gintama fandom].
What: BABIES!!
Why: Because paahead say whaaaaaaaaat?
Note: Done /ACTION LEAGUE NOW style, because the downs are heavy this year. Residents of Edo out and about may have seen this.

( Shut the hell up. You're a grown man buying plushies. )

The revolution is progressing steadily, but that is not what I wish to impart to all you Joui-hopefuls today. Elizabeth has been starting a new revolution of her own as of late; a revolution of art and words. She is truly a renaissance Elizabeth.

She has gone to the beach to find her muse. I received her latest manuscript this afternoon. She also enclosed a postcard that she drew herself. It is nothing short of a masterpiece.

I think she may be in the running for a Nobel Peace Prize.

Aha, there I go, playing the proud owner. You may of course R&R yourselves. I suggest leaving positive feedback for her, and experiencing what it is like to hold onto the shooting star of a legend.

Should you leave expressly favourable feedback, Elizabeth has agreed to send you signed copies of her artwork, on high quality printer paper [S&H not included].

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you,
( BEACH BEAUTY ZURAKO AND THE BEACH ADONIS. )

I. I. Ah, I promised myself I wouldn't do this...

I'm so proud of you, Elizabeth.

I am sorry it has taken so long for me to contact you- it was difficult locating someone with an outside connection. Luckily, one of my fellow inmates has managed to keep hidden a palm pilot with WiFi. I am unsure how he has managed to conceal such a device; when asked, he only replies that I should not ask at all.

I have been ...apprehended. You will find me in Cell Block 23, within the detention centre for prostitution and the selling of carnal goods.

What I request of you to bring is a grappling hook, my sword, 7 to 10 bombs, and a disguise that fits the tall proportions of my cell mate and ****-Daddy Higa-san, who will also be escaping at that time. I am thinking the XXL/XL onigiri costume... or perhaps the XL/L kangaroo costume... although we would have to hire someone to go in the pouch as his roo... ah, I don't really care, have fun with it...

Please do not alert the Yorozuya. And hurry. I am running out of deep mauve lipstick.





That was the worst birthday I have ever had.

I hope there is no surprise party after I get off work. Ah, that would be so embarrassing.

And I really hope I do not get a pinata in the shape of a Shisengumi officer, or a new Bentendo 64 controller. In see-through purple.



Uwah.

The game was a rousing success. Thank you to everyone who participated. I hope you all had a good time.

Additionally, thank you Charming-sama, for the flowers, and the twins, for Pandy-Pan-Chan [the shampoo also smells very nice, although I have not used it yet].

Shinpachi-san, when you regain your voice, perhaps we could discuss having a regular game. It is a shame about those voice-losing allergies. I believe it is the season for it.

Congratulations again to those who finished alive:
Level 107 Amazing Fran the Honorable Escargot Knight of Sobasushisaketakoyaki Japan +3.
Level 406 Magical Dragon Summoner Katamari Hong Kong-san.
Level 308 Blood Bath Bezerker Taiwan-san.
Level 391 Glasses Lensflare.
Level 365 Hamburgler.
Level 32 Shaman Toad Charming-san.
Level 8000 The Terminator.
Haru-chan.

Better luck next time, Germany-san, Gojira, Bardtoki, and the other failures. [Italy-san, 50 laps for not storming the castle, and 50 more laps for taking off your pants in polite company.]


Today is a good day for the revolution. Elizabeth has returned from visiting her sick old great-grandmother, who has regrettably passed away. Elizabeth has now come into a substantial inheritance.

After proper donations to the Joui cause, we bought other things.



Like Lucy-chan and Ethel-chan. Ah, and some nmaibo.


Taiwan-san, I have run into some difficulty with what we discussed and need to speak with you.

Sakamoto. I get off of work at 6, if you still want to go drinking.

I will also participate in the meme for BRaWLDOS.

( Meme. )

FST meme complete.


That free boat trip is mine.

Yosh!

Ah... Edo is strangely lively today.

I thought there were a few more months until the summer festivals started.

Nevertheless, today is a good day for the revolution. The people have finally recognised me as their leader.

They gave me a hat.




Japan-san has also come to visit. He seems distressed about something. I hope there is not anything in my teeth.

Hello. I would like to place an ad for a part-time bodyguard.

I will pay very good money in exchange for someone who will save me the aggravation of having to deal with a stalker. My name is Zurako, co-owner of the Ozura Snack Bar [a place where adults go to heal; happy hour is Friday nights from 4:30 pm to 1:30 am]. Although I am capable of handling the pervert in question, it is annoying and detracting from the concentration I have on my work.

If you are interested, you can contact me here. If you are an Edo resident, you may stop by the shop at any time.

To narrow down the field of candidates, the first one to bring me Sakata Kintoki's ugly blonde head unattached to his ugly pre-pubescent body wins the position and a 20% higher bonus.



Thank you.

Ah, what a complete waste of time.

Shinpachi-san, although I realise that the judge of our karaoke contest went into a sudden, naked coma before he could give a verdict, I think we both know who was the true victor.

Do not feel ashamed. I am out of your league. You will be honouring your end of the bargain as a man and a samurai, no?



Italy-san, please wake up and tell me where you put your pants.

Preferably quickly, as I believe the management called the police.

I have a few things I would like to address.

1. I would like to formally ask Japan-san, France-san, and Russia-san to ally with Italy. Ah, we have cake.

2. ...Underpants. What is the difference between boxers and briefs? Which one is more suited to a noble samurai, craving freedom of movement and spirit?

3. The Dragon has fallen from the skies. The skies at the corner of... no. The Dragon has hurt it's wing after falling off the Cloud Castle, located at. ...No. The Dragon-Manager of the Glorious Revolution has tumbled and chipped a claw, and needs a manicurist. Please send one to... I can't say that either... ah...

...I fell off a roof and broke my ankle. I require assistance. I do not want to give away my location to enemies of the resistance.



I wish I had some money with me. I am only two blocks away from Taanaka-san's dango shop on Kuribanko street. What a waste.

Ah. I would like the attention of Italy and all its' inhabitants.

This is your leader speaking.



I welcome you to the new dawn of Italy. Your reform is something I take very seriously. I know I am no politician, and that my greatest strengths do not lie in diplomacy, but in my sword [or split-end free hair].

Nevertheless, I will do my best to serve you as I serve Japan.

There will be a few changes in how we run things. Please keep in mind these changes are all for the well-being of Italy and it's many diverse peoples.

THE NEW RULES OF ITALY

As dictated, not read, by Katsura Kotarou, Ruler, to Elizabeth, Notary.
一 The shackles of oppression, ah, whatever those are, shall be loosened from the ankles of this noble country. Unfettered, this country may flourish.
二 All peoples may pursue their own path and develop their own bushido.
三 The country's animal will be changed from the Italian Wolf to Elizabeth.
四 The official language will be changed from Italian to Japanese [with English subtitles for the viewers at home, of course. Many some wishes for with great luck, Enrgrish-sans! Bubble gum happy day be my friend always today!].
五 The official anthem will be changed from Il Canto degli Italiani to Snoop Dog's "Gin and Juice," off of the illustrious "Doggystyle" album.
六 All policia will be put to death on being grounds of possible ties with the Shisengumi. All Shisengumi will also be put to death on grounds of being hairy, stupid morons with acne on their behinds.
七 Currency will be changed from the Euro to soba.
八 The Pope's hat will belong to Elizabeth by right of conquest.
九 All neighbouring nations must wipe their feet and take off their sandals before coming to visit.
十 Fridays will from now and forever more be known as Silly Hat Day.

Ah. Thank you for your attention.

Ganbatte, Italy!

Edit: We will not speak of it or I will gut you, Paa-head.

The football match was... good?

There was a unicorn, which was nice, but there was also sexual harassment and strange men in skirts. Amercia-san shouts too much. I don't think he knew how to play.

England-san and I enjoyed a large amount of traditional pre-kick-off drinks. We are seen here, discussing battle tactics, after said drinks.



Or maybe it was croissants. I forget. My head hurts. I am irritated that the bombs I planted underneath the opposing team's bench malfunctioned. Or I forgot to plant them. Ah, this headache.

Wasn't one of the teams supposed to win?


Ah. I am not sure I like foreign sports.


[[OOC: THREAD-HOPPING HIGHLY ENCOURAGED. ♥]]

Today has been an unfortunate day.

My Famicon controller has... met it's demise.

A moment of silence, please.



Thank you.

The revolution may be set back for weeks because of this fatal tragedy. Elizabeth tries to comfort me with her uplifting words and noble spirit, but I cannot help but feel the ache of absence in my heart.

In the interest of keeping strong bonds with those still living, and to distract myself from this utter despair, I have made icons.

Gintoki, these are for you. I do not think you look utterly ridiculous in any of them.




Shintaro-san, please enjoy this icon set. You look very expressive.



I look forward to the football match, in which Team Axis will crush all those teams opposing them.

NO MERCY.

In an unrelated topic, I beseech the internet for someone to teach me football. I can pay for this service with Amanto heads and fealty.